Friday, July 3, 2015

HIS Care Is This Storm

"Sometimes you need the storm in order to see the glory.
 
 
Sometimes it's only the deep and dark storms of life that put the glory of the Messiah and the kind of relief where I can now see it and I can now get it and I can say, "I'm okay, because this One has drawn me into eternal relationship with Him.
 

 
Sometimes you need the storm to see the glory. Oh, the care is not just Jesus' presence in the storm. 
 

 
The care is the storm!
 


That's care, just the kind of care that we need.

 
He's zealous that we would see and understand that we would really have hearts of faith—sturdy, assured, confident, bold, ministering, faith.” Paul David Tripp
 


Words can never share how overwhelmed I have been, at the outpouring of love, support, and prayers from each of you. And I can truly say, that GOD has given a peace that surpasses all understanding.
 
I met with the oncologist this week, and the surgery has been scheduled for this coming Tuesday.
 
Many more prayers are needed.
 
Prayers for peace of mind, as the thought of surgery TERRIFIES me. Prayers that I will not get sick before hand, as a cold is going around my family. Prayers that it will be a smooth recovery, and all who care for me will be granted patience, as I am NOT the best of people to be around when I feel bad. ;) And prayers the cyst will not be cancerous.
 
I have some praises. After meeting with the oncologist, there was some relief. He feels very confident the cyst is not cancerous, and that he might even be able to save the ovary.
 
There are no guarantees.
 
Only faith, and trusting in the LORD's goodness and grace.
 
And GOD's people boldly approaching the throne of grace, with their petitions and praise.
 
GOD is good, all the time!
 
Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thanks for stopping by!
Angel

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Of Being Told I Might Have Cancer


What would you do, if you went to your doctor, and after some testing, they told you might have cancer?

I know what I did.

I cried.

My dear friends, I am facing what might be the most terrifying storm of my life. Let me share.

If you have been reading this blog since at least the beginning of the year, you know that a New Year's goal I set was to find a naturally minded doctor. Someone that would listen to the concerns I have about my health, and not just write it off, and give me pill. I wanted someone to help me look at the problem as a whole, and possibly treat any problems with natural means.

About 2 weeks ago, after quite a bit of research, I found the name of a gynecologist, and really liked the reviews of her. I called to schedule an appointment, and the soonest I was able to be seen was this past Friday.

I made a list of all the questions and concerns I have had over the past year or so. Primarily dealing with not becoming pregnant easily, and concerns over thyroid health. I wanted to be ready, and hopefully get some answers.

Friday came, and I was feeling pretty optimistic. I walked into the office, signed in, and waited to be taken back.

My name was called and the nurse took my vitals. I was ushered to a room, and quietly waited for the doctor to come in.

She came in, we were introduced, and she asked questions about family history, etc.

She then asked if I had any concerns. I shared my list, and she gave her advice. She ordered a full thyroid panel to be taken, after hearing some symptoms I have been experiencing, and she then moved to the physical exam.

She came to the pelvic exam portion of the visit, and asked when I had last taken a pregnancy test. I told her the day before my period. She said my uterus felt enlarged, as if I was pregnant.

I told her the test was negative, and my period was very normal that month.

She then named off a few possibilities, but wanted an ultrasound done that day.

I was unable to be scheduled in for an ultrasound that day. So, I had to wait until Monday at 11:15.

Never has a weekend lasted that long.

You think of all sorts of possibilities when you are to told to wait and see what is wrong with your body.

Not only that, when it is something involving reproductive organs, you begin to think your dream of becoming a mother, will be snatched away from you.

My appointment came Monday. I was so blessed to have my mom and sister with me.

The ultrasound was done, and once again I had to wait for the doctor to get the results.

But not long.

The doctor called, and asked if I could come in that afternoon. And I did.

Sitting in the waiting room, waiting, and praying, I tried to remain optimistic. But it was becoming very difficult.

I was ushered to the room, and once again, waited for the doctor to come in.

She walked in, and the look on her face, and tone in her voice made my heart sink to the floor.

She asked if I was told anything at the ultrasound appointment, and I said no.

She then goes on to say, well, it was not your uterus that was enlarged, and she paused.

You have a baseball to softball size mass on your right ovary.

What she was saying did not sink in immediately. It did not seem real.

She then began to explain that the reason she thought it was my uterus is that the mass is so large, it has pushed my uterus and other organs back.

She then told me my only option is to have the ovary removed.

She explained that it would be best to have it removed via surgery, whether it is cancerous or not. It is just so large, it could rupture, and cause other issues.

I will not find out whether it is cancerous or not, until after the surgery.

During the surgery, the doctors will be able to test the mass immediately and determine if it is cancerous. If it is cancerous, they will immediately do a lymph node dissection, to ensure it has not spread.

There is a glimmer of hope in all this.

I have two aunts that had to have their ovaries removed, when they were my age, due to the same conditions. Their growths were not cancerous.

The doctor was relieved upon hearing this. She said this could just be a genetic issue, and nothing to worry about.

But right now, I am worried. No, I am terrified.

My life seems so dream like right now. Just like when I have nightmares. I want to wake up, as I have done so may times before to hear my husband comforting me, and his arms around me, saying it's okay, it's okay.

But it's not okay right now.

I have been sobbing off and on. And while my husband has been holding me and telling me it's okay, I am still terrified.

Will you pray for me?

I need prayers for comfort, grace, and peace.

I know GOD has a plan and a purpose in all of this. And HE will work out everything to HIS honor and glory.

Lord I need You, when the sea of life is calm
O Lord I need you when the wind is blowing strong
Whether trials come or cease, keep me always on my knees
Lord I need You, Lord I need You
Sometimes when life seems gentle and blessings flood my way,
I turn my gaze away from you, and soon forget to pray
But when the sky grows darker and courage turns to fear
My anxious voice cries upward with words You long to hear
 
Lord I need You, when the sea of life is calm
O Lord I need you when the wind is blowing strong
Whether trials come or cease, keep me always on my knees
Lord I need You, Lord I need You
Lord help me to remember, I’m weak but You are strong
I cannot sing apart from You, for Lord You are my song
Although I’m prone to wander and boast in all I do
Lord keep my eyes turned upward, so I depend on You

Angel

Friday, June 12, 2015

Do Not Lose Heart


 
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to GOD.
Philippians 4:6
 
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge HIM, and HE will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6
 
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:8-9
 
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
 
Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thanks for stopping by!
Angel
 


Wednesday, June 10, 2015

My Whole30 Experience

I did it! As of 12 p.m. midnight on June 8th, I completed a Whole30! Woot-woot!:D

And right now, I am completely and totally amazed that I did finish. Because I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to cave in and grab a spoon full of peanut butter, or just lick the batter off the spoon, while making Justin applesauce bread... ;)

In case you are completely oblivious to what a Whole30 is, I shall explain in short detail. It’s a 30 day, whole foods challenge, created by Melissa and Dallas Hartwig. Basically, you eat Paleo for 30 days. That means no grains, no dairy, no sugar of any sort, no snacking, and lots and lots of veggies, meat, and fat 3 times a day. All in an effort to reset bad eating habits, and to improve health.

I’ve been hearing about the Whole30 for quite a while now, but did not think it was something for me.

For the past 2 years, my eating habits changed drastically from the ones I had pre-marriage and early marriage. Where I used to eat a lot of premade foods, I now make most everything homemade, rarely buy pre-made foods, use only natural sugar sources, and buy organic or grass fed as much as possible. I’ve kind become a health nut in that area…

So, I really did not think a Whole30 challenge would be for me.

But, over the past several months, I let my guard down a bit, and allowed myself one too many sweet. And bread. And several spoons of peanut butter a day...

I knew a drastic step was needed. I had such a horrible craving for sugar daily. And so, I looked into the Whole30 more closely, and dove in.

Oh, silly me thought it was going to be a breeze. What sort of problems would I have with cutting out dairy, and bread, and sugar, and peanut butter? I eat pretty healthy. It’s gonna be smooth sailing.

Boy, did I get a heavy dose of reality and a big ole' kick in the pants.

For the first week, there were headaches, extreme fatigue, meltdowns, more tears than you can count. Maybe even a lashing out at the poor hubby for no reason at all...

But, by GOD’s grace, and my sweet husband’s encouragement, I made it through.

And I learned so much about my eating habits, and nutrition.


My favorite lunch from the Whole30: Turkey Stuffed Portobello with roasted cauliflower, broccoli, and carrots

I never realized how much sugar I consumed in a day. From my daily honey mustard dressing, to little bites of Justin’s desserts, fruit, I was consuming WAY too much.

I also discovered the reason I was so hungry all the time. And why I always wanted to “graze” during the day. I was not consuming enough protein and the right kinds of fat at each meal.

Favorite Breakfast from the Whole30: Scrambled eggs, mixed with avocado, tomato, and topped with Cajun sautéed shrimp, with roasted sweet taters on the side
While on the Whole30, you basically stuff yourself 3 times a day, with the most nutritious fuel for your body.

And I am not going back. I now have a greater respect for the role the right food plays in our health. I will continue to eat this way at least 80-90 percent of the time. I am going to start soaking grains, and cut out all the nuts and nut butters. I will be allowing a sweet treat once a week, and being okay with eating something not the healthiest in the world, when in social situations.

The fact that my moods have been stable, there were very few PMS symptoms (aside from the dire need of deep, dark chocolate), more muscle definition, and an almost ridiculous amount of energy most days, is worth not eating like I was pre Whole30.

If you have never given the Whole30 a try, I would highly recommend it. Especially if you are trying to learn more about health from the nutritional aspect of things.

It will be hard. It was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. But it will be worth it.

Oh. If you do plan decide to do this, take this peace of advice from someone with experience. Try to plan it around social occasions. Like two graduations, and two weddings. Unless you just want to sit there and watch everyone else indulge in cake, and banana pudding, and cookies... ;)

Have you ever done a Whole30? Are you bringing in any habits from it to your life? Or, are you making any other improvements in your health via exercise or diet changes?

Have a wonderfully blessed day! Thanks for stopping by!
Angel

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Blessed To See This Precious Face

Last Thursday evening, Justin and I decided to head over to our land, and do a bit of work. He wanted to clear some more of where our driveway will go, and I needed to pick blueberries.
 

Blueberry picking did not take long. And while I would have gladly helped, there was not much I could do to help in clearing the brush in the driveway area. A weed eater with a blade was needed, and Justin, being the AMAZING protector he is, prefers I stay at a safe distance away, so no flying brush hits me.

So, I decided to take a walk through some of the nearby woods.

While being able to walk through woods that our own is a HUGE blessing in itself, GOD blessed me with seeing this precious face come out of nowhere...

 
A tiny fledgling, sitting on a branch...
 
 
 
 
He was not at all afraid. He just kept watching me and posing. :D
 

 
But it was not long before I heard mommy and daddy nearby, making all kinds of noise. Most definitely fussing at me to get way from their baby! :D
 
 


Why should I be discouraged and why should the shadows fall?
Why should my heart be lonely and long for heaven and home?
When Jesus is my portion, my constant Friend is He,
His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.
His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.

I sing because I'm happy;
I sing because I'm free;
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me.

Let not your heart be troubled; these tender words I hear;
And resting on his goodness I lose my doubts and fears;
For by the path He leadeth but one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.
His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.

I sing because I'm happy;
I sing because I'm free;
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me.

Whenever I am tempted; whenever clouds arise;
When songs give place to sighing; when hope within me dies;
I draw the closer to Him; from care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.
His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.

I sing because I'm happy;
I sing because I'm free;
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me...
 
Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thanks for stopping by!
Angel

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

The Simple Joy of Chickens

I'm pretty sure I have said this before, but I have gotta say it again. I think one of my favorite blessings in this life, is the ability to raise chickens.
 
And I feel so blessed today, that I have been able to continue to raise chickens after being married.
 
Being able to walk out to the coop, and see them all run up to greet me...
 
 
 to feed them scraps...
 
 
learn each one's personality...
 

 

 
 
 
to watch them walk about, and explore the yard...
 

 
or just peck and scratch in the dirt...
 

just brings the most simple, sweet, and peaceful kind of joy in life.


Do you own chickens? What are you feeling blessed with this day?

Have a wonderfully blessed day! thanks for stopping by!
Angel
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Monday, June 1, 2015

Of Piled Dishes, Blueberries, and Hard Work

Well hello there! I pray that you are having a wonderfully blessed day in our LORD! The sun is shining so gloriously bright today. There are some clouds dotting the sky, but they are the big white fluffy ones that you could sit and watch for hours, and imagine them to be all sorts of shapes. Oh, and the temps today are already up into the mid 80's. A perfect start to the month of June. :D
 
So, how have ya'll been of late? It has been what I call "crazy busy" here of late. I think today might me the first day in almost a month I do not have to go anywhere. Unless of course my darling hubby gets home before dark, and he's itching to work on our newly purchased land. Which has been the case more times than I can count since purchasing it. :)
 
 
So far we have where our house will go marked, the driveway mostly mapped out, and a field partly plowed.



 
I love working our land, but sometimes it can be very draining work. It's one way the LORD is teaching me patience, and not to complain... ;)
We have even been able to camp out one evening. :)

Campside breakfast...
And oh yes! We discovered we have several blueberry bushes on the property! We don't think anyone planted them, as the property is completely undeveloped. So most likely a bird helped out with that. :)
 
 
 
Our property has not been the only "adventure" embarked upon of late. I am now on day 22 of a Whole30! I hope to share more of this adventure soon. To make it brief, the past 22 days have been grainless, sugarless, dairyless, chocolateless, and peanut butterless. All in an effort to reset my thought and mind set regarding nutrition.
 
A lunch salad, with grilled venison, tomatoes, and fresh basil from my garden. Oh, and a side of my special blend of iced red rasberry, and nettle tea
 
With those said adventures, my K-3 teaching job finishing up for summer, 2 graduation celbrations, attending a wedding, directing a wedding, grocery shopping, exercise , and everthing in between, I pray that if you want to drop by my house you give me a wee bit of warning. :)
 
From constant cooking on the Whole30, and not being home everyday, housework has become increasingly difficult to keep caught up on. Which has drove me CRAZY on more than one occasion...
 
Piled dishes...
 
And the never ending pile of laundry...
 
This is real life folks.

 
So, with all that being said, I think I'm going to get off of here, and try to spend this day organizing my little castle. :)
 
After I share these two pics. :D
 
The girls enjoying outside the coop time
 
 
And this cute couple that had to have matching outfits while attending a cousins wedding. :)

 “The unthankful heart discovers no mercies; but the thankful heart will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings.”
― Henry Ward Beecher

What have you been up to of late?

Have a wonderfully blessed day! Thanks for stopping by!
Angel

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

This Is What I Have Been Training For

Justin and I decided to spend our Tuesday afternoon working on our newly purchased land. There was litter that needed to be picked up, and two trees hanging over the road, to be cut.
 
We both started out with the trash detail, and then headed to the trees.
 
I stood, watched, and waited until he had the first tree cut down.
 
While he cut the branches of the tree, I began to pick up the branches, and toss them into the woods.
 

While I paused to allow him to cut more branches off the tree, a thought hit me.


This is what I have been training for.


What have I been training for, you may ask? Life my friends, life.


All those long hard hours lifting weights, and running laps, paid off. I was physically able to spend the afternoon helping my husband with some pretty serious, physical labor. Lifting logs, picking up and throwing branches felt so easy!


So, the next time your sweating it out, and feel like giving it up, don't. You never know what the LORD may call you to do the next day of your life. Maybe it's helping an elderly person carry their groceries, run errands for a sick neighbor, carry a child on your hip or in your body, or maybe throw some branches around to help your hubby out. Being physically ready should be a priority for us all.


What has exercising helped you accomplish lately? Any work going on around your place?

Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thanks for stopping by!
Angel

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