Monday, August 22, 2011
Change of Thoughts...
So awhile back I wrote out a few things that I have been wanting to post about. I mentioned that one of the things I wanted to hit on, but wasn't so sure I was going to, is courtship. I posted about some of my convictions on the matter back in April. (here's the post if you would like to read it).
I briefly went over some of my thoughts on the matter, and made some convictions known. But after some prayer and reading and lots of talking with others, I'm not all that pleased with what I wrote, and what I thought. I was going to wait to write on this, but the thoughts are here now, and if they are not wrote out soon, I'm afraid it will never happen. And I feel that what I am thinking now needs to be brought out...
Like I said, after quite a bit of prayer lately, I'm afraid my attitude toward courtship has not exactly been the best. I've had a bit of a mind set that the only way that I am ever going to get married is by following a set of rules, set by another person. Let me explain a bit.
I have had the mind set over the past year that the only way I will ever get married is by following strict guidelines written by people and not necessarily what GOD has placed in my life. I have read countless stories of what I want my love story to be like. I have wanted the typical courtship story where a guy takes interest in a girl, asks the girls father to court her, they spend lots of time together only in the midst of family, never alone, they're engaged, then married, you get the picture.
I have had an almost legalistic thought process concerning this. A process that unless it happens this certain way, it's wrong. But that is wrong. Who am I or anyone else on this earth to say that if courtship does not happen that certain way it is wrong?
GOD has made each of us different individuals. Who is to say that what is right and perfect for one, is going to be right and perfect for another? Why does it matter what avenue we take in getting to know someone better for marriage, whether it be dating or courtship, so long as what we are doing is to honor and please GOD?
I would still love for that typical courtship in my life. But GOD may have a another plan. Perhaps what HE wants me to go through is different than what I desire. Maybe I'll be close friends with a guy, and we'll go straight into an engagement. (I have known and heard of several couples to go this route) Maybe we'll date one on one, with the close guidance of family, and get to know each other better that way. Or, it could be something such as this guy went through, (he only knew this girl briefly through family and friends, and they became betrothed and knew they were going to get married from the start of the relationship).
I don't know what is going to happen. Only GOD knows, and I am so incredibly thankful for that fact. All I know is, that I need to focus more upon HIM, and solely rely on what HE has placed in my life, and not look to others longing for what they have, when the time comes.
Here is a quote that describes what I have been thinking quite well...
"Terms don't define our lives; our lives define our terms."
— Joshua Harris (Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship)
So, what do think about this? Is there anything I have said you have a problem with? I would love to hear your thoughts! :D
Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thanks for stopping by!
Side note: Even though I have let up on my thoughts as to the process of courtship, my convictions have not. I still do not believe in aimless dating. I believe that no matter the route you take, marriage should be a clear goal, so as not to play with each other's hearts. I believe that a most GOD honoring way to approach a relationships. I would also like the man to gain my father's blessing in a relationship.