Monday, April 9, 2012

Encouraging Chivalry, Putting Away Pride

I had an incident occur to me a few weeks ago. It was nothing too out of the ordinary, but it was one that the LORD used to open my eyes and show me an area I need to work on. It's the area of pride, and femininity. Let me share.

Our church had an Easter cantata practice, on a Saturday morning. Following practice, Justin (the man I'm in a courtship with) asked if I wanted to ride with him to our local Wal-Mart, so he could pick out a kite for another upcoming church activity. I said yes, and then we were off.

We got to Wal-Mart, he chose a kite, string, and then we walked around a few minutes. He asked if I needed to get anything, and I told him I needed to pick up some dog food. So we walked over to the pet section, and found what I needed.

Well, if you know dog food bags, you know they can come in some pretty heavy weight categories. Well, big and bad me grabs the bag and proceeds to haul all 20 pounds through the store. And the whole time, not giving my friend a second to be a gentlemen.

We walk down the pet food aisle, and head for the checkout. We get to the end of the aisle and my dear friend asks if he could carry the dog food for me. And then it hit me, pride in thinking I could do it myself, and the initial reaction to say "No thanks, I've got this".

Just as suddenly as that pride of wanting to do the work myself came, the guilt of realizing my first thought was wrong arrived.

I'll be the first to admit, I can be prideful in my ability to work hard. I can also tell you that pride gets me into trouble by working myself to the point of exhaustion, way too much. (Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall...) I've never liked to think of myself as weak in terms of strength. But being a woman, I am.

The LORD used that moment to show me I do have physical limitations as a woman. There is nothing wrong with that. That is how HE created me, as well as all other women. That's HIS plan for our lives.

HE also showed me how to encourage the men in my life to be servant leaders. Letting them demonstrate chivalry by offering to carry heavy items, opening doors, or anything else, is helping them to treat women with respect and even fulfil the command to show honor to the weaker vessel.

And guess what else I've seen first hand? By letting guys perform such acts of kindness, without the lady getting defensive, does help encourage them, and even make them feel more respected. Guys do want to help a lady. GOD created them to be protectors and leaders. Aiding a damsel in distress (or an idiot with a 20 pound burden...) does encourage them. And that is definitely a good thing.

Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

So next time a guy shows chivalry in his actions, I will by the LORD's grace and help, put my pride aside and encourage my brothers in Christ to be the leaders GOD has made them to be. :)

So, what are you thoughts on the subject? I'd love to hear them! :D

Have a wonderfully blessed day! Thanks for stopping by!

This post has been linked to Modest Mom's "Modest Monday's".


  1. I have to remind myself of this sometimes and I have been married to my Rooster for almost fifteen years!

    I think we get in this mindset to get things done and rush into it to get it done. We need to stop and pay attention to what we are doing.

    Have a wonderful night and God Bless

  2. I laughed so hard at the "idiot with a 20 pound burden!!" LOL! But you are so right! I find myself sometimes getting so prideful in being able to do things on my own that I don't give my brothers in the Lord [or men in general] a chance to be a gentleman. So this is definitely something I think all, if not, most of us girls struggle with sometimes! Thanks for sharing! :D

  3. This made me laugh Angel! :) That's so me.. all the time. "Oh no! I can handle this! See how strong I am, I have strengthened not only my hands, but my arms as well. I am a very virtuous woman!" Then my friend gives me the quizzical look and rolls his eyes. Thanks for the reminder! :)


  4. Wow! This sounds like you are describing me! My younger brother (16) and I often do our family grocery shopping together... and I am the kind of girl to jump out of the van, speed walk, grab everything I need (without help) and head home... unfortunately not giving him an opportunity to open the door, get a cart for me, lift the heavy things or assist me in any other way. I find that I often want to prove my strength. I can often be prideful and want to declare, "No Thanks! I am strong... Very Strong! I can do this by myself." (My mom says I have always wanted to do things by myself.) However, God has been working on me in this area, and by His Grace I am surrendering my strength for His. Thank you for the kind reminder! I am sure our brothers (both physical and spiritual) appreciate it when we let them be men... even in little things, like opening doors! :) ~Jordan

  5. Fantastic. I, too, have been so guilty of this. Even in marriage, the temptation to say, "I got this!" is huge. Thank you for the wonderful reminder!

    ~Kristen from "Created to be His"

  6. This is a great perspective Angel! I often try to "do it all" myself as well but the more I let my husband do things such as taking in the majority of the groceries, opening doors, etc. the more he does it and seems to enjoy his role! It is so true, this is how God created us, and we need to embrace it, as it is His best for us! -Nicole at Working Kansas Homemaker

  7. Great post, Angel. My husband started opening doors for me, including the car door, and carrying heavy things for me while we were dating. Back then I had to adjust to letting him do these things for me, though I did like and appreciate his gentlemanly ways. After 30 years of marriage I cherish the fact that he still does these things for me. I'm so glad that I let God tame my independent spirit way back then.


Well hello there! Thanks for stopping by! I LOVE to hear from you all out there. Just please remember to keep everything kind and Christ-like. In the words of that wise papa rabbit, "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all". :)